Though the tradition of tossing a bouquet to women guests at a wedding has been around for a while, that does not mean that you are obliged to do so.
If this is an activity you look forward to, then there is no reason why you shouldn’t go ahead with it. However, if there are any considerations you have that make you less than excited about the bouquet toss, you should take those concerns seriously.
If you have seen one too many (one is enough) bouquet tosses where the supposedly “just for fun” activity has turned into a pushing and shoving brawl between ladies behaving badly, you might be hesitant to proceed. Are some of your bridesmaids and other female guests likely to get a little rambunctious after the champagne has been flowing? Will you and your guests find their behavior entertaining or embarrassing? It’s something to consider.
There are several good reasons for keeping the bridal bouquet, not the least of which is that you would like to keep it as a reminder of a wonderful day. Or you may wish to present it to someone special; your maid of honor, your mother or grandmother, your new mother-in-law (make sure you tell your own mom about that plan first) or to the couple who attends your wedding who have been married the longest.
If you are planning on the toss, you might like to consider an alternative to the basic bridal bouquet. Your florist can supply you with a break-away bouquet that can be separated into several (usually three) small bouquets just as it is tossed. It provides a bit of surprise and more than one of your friends can end up with a bouquet. Or, use one section for the toss, keep one for yourself, and present one to a special person.
What you do with your bouquet is up to you. Keep it, toss it, pull out individual flowers to give to guests, or let your five year old cousin “decorate” with it. It really is your choice.
You can easily go on line and find numerous lists of what the bride and grooms parents are traditionally responsible for and what costs the happy couple are expected to take on for themselves.
It is also clear that as more couples are waiting to wed until they are well established financially, the old guidelines do not need to be so closely observed.
If you are reading this, you are probably already spending time trying to make some sense of what to expect from your parents, and what they might be expecting from you.
Unless you are just finishing school or have just landed your first job, the idea of Mom and Pop covering all expenses is probably a bit unrealistic. More and more established couples want the latitude to make important decisions about their weddings which comes with taking on more of the cost of the wedding themselves.
So how do you figure out what is affordable and who will help with what? The first thing you need to do is come up with a basic guideline of what you really want in the way of a wedding: How extravagant? How many guests? How big a reception? What type of location?
Get those ducks in order and then its time to talk to both sets of parents, present your vision, let them know what you think (realistically) it will cost and then ask if they would be able to help you out. Don’t ask for a specific amount of money and don’t ask for an immediate commitment.
You may find that you will not be able to have the wedding you have been dreaming of based on the financial help your parents can provide. Be gracious for whatever help they can give you. With a little downsizing and a few adjustments, you can still have a day you will always remember, and no one will feel the poorer for it.
If you haven’t already made plans to attend the 2012 Bridal Expo at the Cocoanut Grove in Santa Cruz, there is still time to get it onto your calendar.
This year the Expo is on Sunday, January 29 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. The fashion show will take place in the spectacular glass ceilinged Sun Room overlooking the Monterey Bay.
This is a great opportunity to check out Santa Cruz area caterers, florists, and everything that you might need for your wedding.
So mark the date, grab a few friends and mom too, and head on down for a fun and informative day by the beach.
I had the pleasure, just recently, of having dinner at Chaminade in Santa Cruz. While my husband and I were waiting for the rest of our party to arrive, I noticed that a wedding ceremony had just finished up on the Courtyard Terrace. The wedding pictures were being taken with the backdrop of the Monterey Bay in the distance. I wandered over to take a closer look as soon as I realized that the two bridesmaids flanking the bride were wearing black. Cute, knee length, strapless black dresses. But still, black. And they looked fantastic.
So what turned simple black dresses into the perfect summer bridesmaid’s gowns? Accessories.
Both the bride and bridesmaids were holding summer bouquets, filled with orange, yellow, hot pink and chartreuse flowers. The flowers stood out against the black dresses, and could have been overwhelming if it weren’t for the bridesmaid’s accessories.
Each of the ladies wore a silver beaded necklace, with a silk rose pendant. One pendant was hot pink and the other chartreuse, echoing the colors in the bouquets. Upon closer inspection, peering over the low hedge between the dining room patio and the Terrace, I saw that the bridesmaids were wearing shoes to match the pendants. Those bright flashes of color, from the shoes and the necklaces, turned a basic black dress into the perfect dress for a summer wedding.
The bride was beaming, the bridesmaids were giggling and everyone looked gorgeous.
So, if you are thinking of black for your bridesmaids, go ahead and dive in. If you theme their accessories to the season they will look great.
If you are planning on having a flower girl at your wedding there are several things that you should keep in mind as you plan your selection.