Splitting the cost of the wedding.

You can easily go on line and find numerous lists of what the bride and grooms parents are traditionally responsible for and what costs the happy couple are expected to take on for themselves.

It is also clear that as more couples are waiting to wed until they are well established financially, the old guidelines do not need to be so closely observed.

If you are reading this, you are probably already spending time trying to make some sense of what to expect from your parents, and what they might be expecting from you.

Unless you are just finishing school or have just landed your first job, the idea of Mom and Pop covering all expenses is probably a bit unrealistic.  More and more established couples want the latitude to make important decisions about their weddings which comes with taking on more of the cost of the wedding themselves.

So how do you figure out what is affordable and who will help with what? The first thing you need to do is come up with a basic guideline of what you really want in the way of a wedding: How extravagant? How many guests?  How big a reception?  What type of location?

Get those ducks in order and then its time to talk to both sets of parents, present your vision, let them know what you think (realistically) it will cost and then ask if they would be able to help you out.  Don’t ask for a specific amount of money and don’t ask for an immediate commitment.

You may find that you will not be able to have the wedding you have been dreaming of based on the financial help your parents can provide.  Be gracious for whatever help they can give you.  With a little downsizing and a few adjustments, you can still have a day you will always remember, and no one will feel the poorer for it.